Your Group Chat Will Judge You Before They Do

Here’s the thing nobody wants to admit: your love life has never been a one-on-one sport.

The second you even think about catching feelings, your group chat becomes the unofficial board of directors for your heart.

Before she gives you the green light—or before he decides he’s serious—your name has already been through the tribunal of screenshots.

The Group Chat Is the Real First Date

You think you’re meeting them, but you’re really meeting:

• Best Friend #1: The lawyer. Cross-examines your Instagram in 4K.

• Best Friend #2: The hater. Finds your weakest selfie from 2016 and sends it with “be ffr.”

• Best Friend #3: The romantic. Already making wedding vision boards.

• The Ghost Member: Never replies, but somehow has the final vote.

Your haircut? Discussed.

Your playlists? Scanned.

Your meme game? Evaluated like a college thesis.

If you’re lucky, you get “They seem nice.”

If you’re not? The chat already issued your soft launch rejection.

Screenshots Are Forever

Don’t forget: your texts are never just yours.

That clever line you dropped? Forwarded.

That typo that made you look unhinged? Immortalized.

Those 3 a.m. “wyd” texts? Voted on like a bad reality show audition.

If you think deleting your messages saves you? Think again. Someone’s got the receipts.

The Hidden Rules of Group Chat Dating

1. First impressions are a group project. Your selfie and bio are the syllabus.

2. Overconfidence kills. Acting like a player makes you the group’s new running joke.

3. Be consistent. Ghost once, and you’re the “girl/guy who wasted my time” story forever.

4. Your timing matters. Double-text too fast? Screenshotted. Take too long? Screenshotted.

   
   

HEAR ME OUT:

You gotta win over their jury of friends you’ve never met.

Your mission: be so effortlessly charming that the group chat goes silent.

Silence means respect and screenshots mean you’re already in trouble.

Written by Ajani Brathwaite