Valentine’s, Friendship, and Finding Love Across Borders

Every February, the world collectively decides it’s time to “celebrate love.” Shops explode with red hearts, chocolate adverts whisper promises of connection, and social media becomes a curated hall of coupledom. But for someone who’s lived across continents, Valentine’s Day has always felt a little… complicated.

I grew up splitting my life between France, Switzerland, Cameroon, and now the UK. I speak four languages (mostly well, sometimes poorly), and my idea of “home” is both everywhere and nowhere. So the idea of centering a single day around romantic love? It’s a bit alien. And yet, I’ve come to love the way Valentine’s Day or even its shadow, “Friendship Week,” if you want to call it that forces you to think about connection, not just romance.

Romantic love is, of course, everywhere. It’s easy to talk about because it’s tangible: dates, flowers, kisses, texts that make your stomach flutter. But love isn’t only romantic. It lives in the midnight calls with your best friend, the care package your cousin sends from across the ocean, the neighbour who notices you need a little extra sugar in your tea. These forms of love, often invisible in mainstream Valentine’s culture, are the ones that sustain you when you’re in a country where you don’t quite belong.

Being an international citizen—someone who has constantly moved between cultures—changes the way you see connection. You learn early on that intimacy isn’t always about proximity. Friends become a chosen family, because they’re the people who make foreign streets feel like home. Community is less about geography and more about presence: who shows up for you, who remembers your birthday even when it’s in another time zone, who listens to your complaints about culture shock without judging.

And here’s the thing: Valentine’s Day can be a moment to celebrate that too. I’ve started seeing February as a time to consciously acknowledge the people who make life warmer. It might mean sending a message to your flatmate thanking them for the small things they do, FaceTiming your sibling across continents, or even cooking dinner for a friend because they’re always feeding your soul. It’s a reminder that love isn’t just about grand gestures—it’s about the day-to-day acts of care that keep us tethered to one another.

At the end of the day, whether you’re single, partnered, or somewhere in between, the people who show up for you, who remind you of your worth, who make foreign streets feel like home—those are the Valentines that stick. And for someone living across cultures, those moments of care, however small, are nothing short of revolutionary.

So here’s to friendship, to chosen family, to digital love, to love that travels. Here’s to showing up. Because love, in all its forms, deserves recognition—not just on February 14th, but every day that life throws distance, chaos, and uncertainty in our path.

Written by Perrine Bapambe