They’re Just Not That Into You... and That's Okay

The signs are usually there. You’re just hoping they’re not.

We’ve all been there. You meet someone, you like them, you start projecting potential. But somewhere deep down, you can feel it, they’re just not matching your energy. Instead of accepting it, you rationalize it. You tell yourself they’re busy. You tell yourself they’re "guarded." You tell yourself you need to "prove" yourself a little more.

No, gang.

The truth is simple: When someone is into you, you won’t be confused. You won’t have to second guess. When they aren’t? That’s your cue to move differently..

Here are the real signs they’re just not that into you and why that’s okay.

1. They don't text back or their responses are dry. People are naturally communicative when they are interested. If you’re always sending full conversations and getting "lol," "haha," or 5-hour gaps back, they’re showing you where you stand.

2. They avoid being alone with you. If they’re always inviting friends along, or dodging any plan that would have the two of you in private? They don't want intimacy with you. They want distance.

3. They purposely misconstrue your words or actions. If they’re reaching to find reasons to be offended, reasons to pick at you, reasons to create distance, they’re trying to build walls instead of bridges.

4. They make no effort to get to know you. Someone who likes you will be curious. They'll want to know where you came from, what you dream about, what makes you tick. If they’re not asking anything? They don't care.

5. They highlight their "flaws" to push you away. If they lead conversations with "I’m crazy," "I’m toxic," or "you wouldn’t like me," they’re trying to discourage you without having to reject you outright.

6. They clearly don't care about your conversations. If you’re getting short, uninterested responses no matter what the topic is, sports, life, dreams, jokes, they’re emotionally clocked out.

7. They’re "always busy" but have time for other things. People make time for what they want. Point blank.

8. You’re the one making all the effort. You plan. You text first. You call. You check in. And they reciprocate...barely. Relationships aren’t built on one-way energy.

9. They pay no real attention to you. They forget the little things you tell them. They’re not dialed in. You feel like you’re performing for someone who is barely watching.

10. They flirt with other people openly but don't flirt with you. This is a major one. If they light up around other people but stay neutral with you, they’re making it clear, they don’t see you as an option.

11. They don’t touch you. At all. Someone who likes you will find excuses to make contact, an arm graze, a hug, a playful push. If they keep physical distance? It’s intentional.

12. They leave you feeling unsure. And that is the biggest sign of all.

Why It Is Okay (And How to Move Right)

First of all, their lack of interest is not a reflection of your value. It’s a reflection of compatibility and compatibility isn’t something you force.

You don’t argue. You don’t chase. You don’t "prove" yourself.

You move on with poise. With calm. With dignity.

Because when you respect yourself enough to not fight for a place where you’re not wanted, you automatically become more powerful. More magnetic. More rare.

Funny enough? That’s when they circle back. When they realize you are the type of person who values themself too much to settle for half-energy.

HEAR ME OUT:

You are not an option. You are not a backup plan. You are not an afterthought.

If they can’t see your value now, that’s fine. They don't have to.

But you better see it.

Leave with grace. Level up. Let them wonder what could have been.

Because the real ones never miss a beat, and they never chase validation where it’s not freely given.

Stay solid.

Written by Ajani Brathwaite