The Art of Being HIM: A High Integrity Man

Some men exist, others move through the world like they own it. The difference isn’t just money, looks, or clout. It’s presence. It’s discipline. It’s how a man carries himself when nobody is watching. That’s what makes him HIM. 

HIM isn’t just a word, it’s a standard. It stands for a High Integrity Man. The kind of man who doesn’t chase validation because he already knows his worth. The kind of man who’s selective about where he goes, what he wears, and who he allows in his space. The kind of man who operates with confidence, not arrogance, because he’s solid in who he is. 

So what separates HIM from everyone else? It comes down to three things. Style, presence, and mindset. Let’s break it down.

1. How Style, Presence, and Mindset Define HIM

Style isn’t just about clothes, it’s about how you wear them. A man who’s HIM doesn’t follow trends, he sets his own standard. He invests in quality over hype. His wardrobe is intentional, from the fit of his jeans to the details on his watch. I’ve seen a lot of Apple Watch slander on the internet. As an Apple Watch wearer myself, I can say that not a single soul has stopped dealing with me because of my watch. I do have my eye on the Rolex Submariner Date Ref. 116610LN 40mm though. Whew!

Personally, I think my style is all over the place. In my head, I can’t afford to dress exactly how I want to yet. It’s very hard to justify buying a $4,200 Cortlandt Coat in Virgin Wool from The Row right now. But even with that, I am always complimented on how well put together I look and how I rarely wear clothes with logos. 

Presence is the energy you bring into a room. He doesn’t need to be the loudest, he doesn’t have to flex. When he walks in, people notice. It’s in the way he moves, the way he makes eye contact, the way he carries himself like a man who doesn’t need permission to take up space. Y’all might also call this “Aura”.

Mindset is everything. He’s disciplined, he has standards, he doesn’t let emotions control his decisions. He builds, he refines, he improves. He’s focused on growth, but he’s never in a rush because he knows mastery takes time. 

2. What High Status Men Actually Invest In

The difference between average men and high status men is what they choose to invest in. He doesn’t spend recklessly, he invests wisely. 

Fashion. He doesn’t need a closet full of logos. He focuses on fit, fabric, and longevity. His clothes speak before he does. Hear me out though, if you spent a bag on a Balenciaga fit and you want the world to know exactly where you got it from, do your thing. That’s just not my thing nor is it what I believe really signifies a High Integrity Man. 

Grooming. He understands that details matter. The haircut is sharp. The skin is clear. The scent is intentional. Nothing about him is sloppy because he respects himself too much for that. I have a full skincare routine. Liquid exfoliants, vitamin C serum, lip scrubs, snail mucin, the whole kit. Some people think skincare is just for women, but the truth is a well groomed man stands out. Taking care of your skin isn’t just about looking good, it’s about feeling good and showing that you respect yourself enough to put in the effort. 

I have long locks that come down to my waist. I hear women talk about the added costs of going on a date, and let me be the first to tell you all, I can relate. I recently found a new hair stylist that has a $100 Thursday special (shoutout to LocNefficent), so that has helped trim my grooming costs. But I recently paid the most money I have ever spent on a shape up. I tried a new barber in Harlem and the mandem massaged me with some vibrating gun, put Noxzema on my face with a hot towel, all that. It felt like he was trying to seduce me. Bring back the $12 shape ups so I can go about my day, please. 

Lifestyle. He curates his environment. Where he eats, where he travels, the experiences he chooses. His time is valuable, so he moves accordingly. 

3. The Social Currency of Exclusivity and How to Embody It

Not every man gets access. He understands that exclusivity isn’t about wealth, it’s about how you carry yourself. It’s about being intentional with who you surround yourself with, where you spend your time, and how you move through the world. 

He’s not at every party, he doesn’t chase trends, he doesn’t seek approval. That’s what makes him valuable. That’s what makes him different. 

HEAR ME OUT! Being HIM is a Standard, Not a Trend

Any man can elevate himself, but not every man is willing to do the work. Being HIM isn’t about perfection, but it is about refinement. It’s about knowing who you are, knowing what you stand for, and moving through the world accordingly. 

The real question is. Are you just existing, or are you becoming HIM?

Written by Ajani Brathwaite