Hello, Me… Again? LARPing One’s Self
Meeting a new person. We’re taught to be polite and make a good impression. Listen, try to understand them. Find something to relate to. Basic social skills, you know? Based on that you either hit it off, or not. It's not the end of the world if you don't. We are taught from a young age how to interact with others so all parties feel comfortable and safe. It's the start of many beautiful relationships. The introduction. Then its history.
But how do you approach yourself ? We have the self that we have adapted to being since we gained consciousness. Surely as we get older in life, there's new quirks and kinks that we weave into our personality. Then you reach a point in your life when your personality and identity is solidified within yourself and others. But suddenly, you're faced with an unfamiliar version of yourself on a random Wednesday evening in October. It’s really awkward. Like gifting your best friend of 20 years a pair of shoes, she opens it in front of everyone at her dinner party, then has the absolute look of displeasure and confusion. Wholetime, you stood there undoubtedly sure that she was going to love it. Not to be dramatic but that is quite life questioning.
Are we meant to re-introduce ourselves to ourselves ? Especially when the change is drastic. Before it was sweet popcorn,now it's salty popcorn. Used to be pastel blue, now it's violet purple. It was always team Jacob, now it's team Edward ?! These are strong foundations of character that aren't meant to waver ! But they are wavering,the foundation is jelly. It's something new everyday, a new adaptation that contradicts that original archetype.
“I have to constantly re-identify myself to myself, reactivate my own standards, my own convictions about what I’m doing and why.” - Nina Simone
It's uncomfortable and unfamiliar. It feels like you're trying to fit into circa 1990 Roberto Cavalli jeans that you’ve never been able to fit into, but still try with each jump never making it past the thighs.
It makes one think if a loved one was going through these changes, would you embrace or reject the change? We love the people in our lives based on who they are fundamentally, does that love also extend to them changing? Ideally yes. I mean it would be questionable if it was morally contradicting. That leads me to think, how do we determine if the change is “good" or “bad” just based on what we already know about ourselves? I did say this is life questioning.
Rather, we would sit and try to understand this change. Talk it out and decipher if it's something to be worked on or embraced. Then comes the re-introduction, learning and adapting to the new changes. Sounds so simple.
Ulimately, when it comes to you. Us. Individuals. Why is the first response rejection ? I mean, we are the ones who know ourselves the most. Maybe it was just a weird day, a weird mood or a delayed reaction. It's never considered maybe a new you ? There are life factors that are a big contribution. Grief, heartbreak, age or a new social setting. Some of these can't be helped. But what can be helped is the grace we give ourselves. Grace. Plenty of that to give that it's forgotten to reserve for oneself.
Again I ask, how do you re-introduce a new you to you ? #lmk
Written by Essie Francis
